~The Piss-Off Polka~
By Catt Kingsgrave-Ernstein
I'll give you this, my tawney eyed tiger, before I send you away
That all in all, I should have known better than ever to think I could let you stay
For I see in the dust of your shoes that you've wandered down every heart's road you could take
And by your works I have come to know you -- A scoundrel, a rogue, and a merciless rake!
But then, I was never the innocent virgin so new in the ways of the world
And I read correctly the heat of your passion by only the way that the smoke unfurled
When you asked me, pretending a courtly demeanor, if I supposed it would be
Less than appropriate behavior if you were to steal a kiss from me.
I knew it wasn't really a kiss that you coveted
So much as my balance and talent for knowing my way.
And I saw when you said that you loved me, you spoke to a phantom
In the shape of a song that you never would let yourself play
Well, I've ridden you for all the excitement I care to this time round,
And you should be free to pursue your own pathos in all of the bars where it's normally found
So steal some more kisses, I'll package them up and throw in a fuck for the road
Cause you're leaving my life with old Drama and Strife as lackeys to carry your load.
I wrote this for a lover in a fit of pique at being replaced. He will recognize himself at once when he reads this, and I can only hope he doesn't take it too seriously -- I got over it readily enough once I'd gotten this bit of bitterness out of my system. And after all, I've written him other, better, truer songs than this. So he's up on the game, really. (And in case anyone wonders, yes, we are still friends now. Quite good friends too. Funny old world, innit?)